Tuesday, August 11, 2009

When I Dream of Houses

For about 2 years I dreamed of houses. I knew from Pyschology that this meant I had an undiscovered part of myself. I started this pattern really strongly in about 2003 when I was 19 or 20.

Houses predominated my dreams so much that I could not ignore them anymore. It was my junior semester at college (2004- I was 21). A lot was going on, my great-grandmother was dying, my grandmother has some unknown heart condition, and my grandfather had a stroke. It was the end of sememster which meant about 4 projects to be finished. On top of all that I was totally and utterly unhappy in my relationship with my boyfriend of 4 years.

I encouraged him to break up with me. I thought it would help his feelings if he felt like it was his choice. I point blank told him to break up with me.

I started dating someone else. Things got better in the majority. My great grandmother did pass away but she was in a lot of pain. It would not have been right for her to suffer anymore.

However, the dreams increased yet again to the point every dream I had was about a house.

Sometimes I was alone, sometimes I was with an odd mix of family members. The houses were almost always different. I did have one particular dream that seemed to repeat itself, but I never could remember the exact order of the last one. So, I was unsure if they were exact.

My dream was almost like the dream Harry Potter would have about the Department of Mysteries. I would come to a door in some, it even looked like the Riddle House. (I had not seen Prisoner of Azkaban or Goblet of Fire at this point. Order of the Phoenix book was not even released yet.) I never remember opening that door.

I took a summer course called Book Arts. We learn how to make all kinds of books. My favorite by far was altered books. It was terribly hard to tear up a perfectly good book, especially since I had worked at a library for 2 years! The class was only 2 week long and I had to start thinking about my final project at the end of the first week to have it finished by the end of the next!

I guess I had a quite influencing dream of a house and that became my final project. Oh, the project had to be a autobiography, also. I am going to share my final project really soon. I am going to try my best to take professional photos of it.

Here is probably the most bizarre part of the whole dream sequence. I quit dreaming of them as soon as I met a guy by the name of Joe at a frat party. I have not had the same type of dream every since October of 2004.

Who knew that 6 months later I would marry him. In a year, we had a tiny baby girl. He was not the one I was even dating after the break up.

My analasis of the whole situation:

I knew that I was unhappy. Subconsciously, I knew more of what I was looking for than I wanted to admit to myself. I quit dreaming of those houses because I found the part of myself that was missing and that was Joe. In fact, I vaguely remember having a dream where I opened the door.

I know that sounds very sappy and melodramatic but I have not dreamed of another damn house since then. It has been 5 years.


a mouse said...

looks like you found your "home"
so you didnt need to dream of
houses anymore! love it!

Pandora said...

Even though I knew what it meant, it took me awhile to figure it all out.

It was a couple of months later when I realized I quit dreaming of houses!